Tom Ridge did this to me.

Eight or nine months ago. Maybe more. I’m not sure, I was walking into work in the morning. We have ACAS electronic keys to unlock the non-main entrance doors at SBC. I was following a rather rotund (I’m talking whole double doorway big here) woman who was pulling a roller suitcase behind her. She could lift the bag of potato chips at night but not her laptop for work I guess. She was going rather slow and taking up a good deal of the hallway in front of me, and quite oblivious that she was blocking my way. I was in a bit of a hurry being late for a meeting. But I just resigned myself to following and waiting for her. She reached to key kiosk, placed her badge on the kiosk, and unlocked the door. I did the same, to verify my key worked for her. We have policies against piggy backing on other employees entry keys. She then was struggling with the issue of holding the door open, and pulling her bag and herself through. So, I held the door open for her, and once she started through, I started following. As she crossed the threshold with me right behind her, a "bling" or something went off in her head. She stopped turned about, bumping me, and nearly tripping me with her suitcase. "I need to see your badge!" she said.I pointed to it, with my photo, hanging from the clip on my belt loop. She looked at me, "I didn’t hear the beep."I put the badge on the kiosk. It beeped. She said, "I didn’t hear it."I put the badge down again. It beeped. She said, "I didn’t here it."I don’t know, maybe it was the fat folds in her ear canals acting as twenty decibel filters, maybe if was the sound of cars driving by outside, maybe it was my dashing good looks distracting her or maybe she was just being dense, but I grew tired of the security game. "Look!" I said, "I’m obviously an employee. Now, let me in."She extended her arms across the rest of the doorway (about an inch) and leaned back a bit and said, "I can’t let you pass!"My sense of humor, and patience for the absurd is not always the best at 8:00 AM. I lost it a bit, and with a loud, deep, commanding voice (for which I get a lot of complements) I said two words, "JUST GO!"It echoed down the corridors of the four story half mile long building. Her eyes kind of bulged out, and opened wide. I could tell I had scared her, but, she stepped aside. Which was my goal.As I walked down the hallway, I realized I wasn’t going to hear the last of that. I’m mean a nut job like that isn’t going to realize she’s a nut job. She would instead report me to the Department of Homeland Security as a possible member of Al Qaida looking to blow up office cubicles with explosive devices cleverly concealed in my ACAS key. But months went by, and nothing ever came of it. Then yesterday, as I was being introduced at a town hall meeting as a member of the leadership team, by my new Vice President, the woman whose ears were plugged with fat globs, realized who I was. She went to corporate security right after the meeting, my name in hand, and reported me as a evil doer. "She wanted me removed from the building, she didn’t feel safe having me there."Needless to say, corporate security found a claim like this against a well respected (except by one person), and quite well known, senior manager, a bit hard to a swallow. But they did decide to discuss it informally with my boss. Who, by the way, just loved having to informally talk to me about it. He (my boss) suggested I show my badge when asked. I smirked at him like George Bush does when he’s at a loss for words. He suggested I not try and find out who reported me and I drop the issue. (Which strangely enough I didn’t bring up.) I guess I am. Except in my blog where I take revenge on all…….But I blame this all on Tom Ridge, and his buddy George. If they would stop issuing terrorist alerts, I might be able to get past fat do gooders, who hold grudges for a year in the morning. That’s why our economy is going to pot. Nobody is focused on real problems and what they are suppose to be doing. Obviously some woman at SBC is watching out for high profile, easily identifiable white Anglo-Saxon, badge and security cleared mole terrorist threat when she should be making money for the company.