Limmericks Day 5, though just a poem.

From the North Pole Santa starts
To visit the world’s every parts
How does he make this miracle flight,
To every child in just one night?
On a sleigh fast as a dart,
Completely powered by reindeer farts.

Limmericks Day 4

Jolly ol’ fat red Kris Kringel,
Was invented cause Christ’s Mom was single.
Then Joseph, gave comfort and to pity.,
Some disciples formed a committee,
And from that, in December, bells jingle?

Chistmas Limmericks day 3

A prayer from a bowl fan.

Sweet Jesus, come back as a place kicker.
Be not skinny this time, be thicker.
Skip Santa, skip shopping, gifts and the rest,
Be savior for my teams post season quest.
--And in church, this time, skip wine, and have Liquor?


Old Santa had a stomach bypass.
He lost most his stomach and ass.
Said Comet to Cupid in grin
"How easy Christmas could've been,
had he had that thing year’s past."

Christmas Limmericks Day 2

Old Jesus was born in manger,
--And Angels showed up, which was stranger
His Dad stuck out his neck,
And said he didn’t have sex.
--With that, he ate hay, I would wager.

Christmas Limmericks Day 1

In a continued effort to bring Christmas Cheer, I'm I present the Twelve Days of Christmas Limericks. (Authored by yours truly.)


One starlit night, Jesus was born it is said
God’s son on earth, the word it was spread
Two thousand years hence,
We’ve all lost our sense,
We celebrate with a fat guy on a sled.

(Too religious? More to come.)

Here is one from a few years back.


There once was a red dude with reindeer,
He would drop presents from Kentucky to Zaire,
He’d often remark during the flight,
"This would only take half the night.
If it weren’t for the wind drag from my horse’s headgear."