I'm pretty sure congress is gay

So the federal government finally repealed the don't ask don't tell law. It only took them 18 years. --And even at the last-minute, there were all these great protests. --And you know the old saying, he who protests too much, must be gay. I'm pretty convinced Congress is gay. Why? They love blowing the American people.

I'll give you an example. Have any of you driven down Interstate 15 in Utah lately? The federal government, has raised the speed limit to 80. For somebody who grew up, and learned to drive when the speed limit was 55, seeing a sign that says 80 miles an hour, is like seeing your first set of bare tits. That eight, sideways, even looks like tits, or hairy balls dangling, depending on your persuasion. There we were driving along, and we saw that eight out of the corner of our eye, and followed it with our heads, like we were 16 again.

I copped a feel at 80 and I started to wonder, what I could get away with? I creeped the cruise control up to 85. That felt good, and didn't hurt anybody. I went to 90. Oh yeah. I leaned back, eyes staring at the ceiling. "Just keep it up", I said.

That's when I caught the other sign out of the corner of my eye: "Experimental Zone Ending, Speed Limit 75." I was like, "What the fuck?" It was like I was back in high school again, and my girlfriend said, "Hey I was just trying this as an experiment. I don't like it." Well, I liked it. You don't throttle a man's engine like that and then cut him off. Congress is just a bunch of big gay cock teasers. To make matters worse, five miles down the road there was another 80 mile an hour sign. You guessed, I throttled up to 90, and put up with that shit. I'm like my next door neighbor's Great Dane (see previous post), lapping up government crap I know isn't good for me.

--And you are all there with me, a group of Great Danes licking Congress's ass. If we get a tax cut, we slurp it up. We just as dog gay as they are. Despite the fact Social Security is underfunded right now, and the federal government doesn't even collect enough taxes to pay for anything they do, Congress blew us again. Social Security went from 6.2 to 4.2%. What's that 50 bucks a paycheck? Oh that feels good! We're addicted to this shit. And next year, when they say, "Experimental Zone is over", I'm going to have my representatives head "Oh you are stopping now, sucker."