Today is my 50th birthday.
I was born at 12:14 January 12, 1961. My mom sent me card today, reminding me that while it was my birthday, she would remember 50 years ago at 12:14 Central as she did most of the work. Then she put a postscript on the back: "Your father got another dog."
I'm not quite sure how my mom's put up with my dad's dog habit for 52 years. Dad thinks he can't live without having a dog in the house. The meantime between a dog dying and my dad getting a new one is about three days. He always gets pure bred gun dogs, Weimaraners, German Shorthair Pointers, Spaniels. They all have a few things in common, they like to eat dead animals, the like to eat garbage and the like to play with, and eat, each other's shit. I mean, when I was a kid in Idaho, the dogs couldn't wait for the winter. Why? Shitsicles! They run on the backyard, grab a frozen shit, and come running back in mouthing it like a Cuban cigar.
What I don't get is, what's their fascination with other dog's shit. I mean they won't eat their own. But they'll go to the dog park and seek t shit out. Like it's a drug habit they can't break. I'm sure when my German Shorthair (yes, I have a shit eating dog too) runs up to other dogs and smells their ass, he's really asking: "Hey you know where I can get some good shit?"
The other dog turns around, smells his ass, and says, "Well your shit's good."
"Yeah, but I'm looking for something with a little aged flavor. You know a little crust, fermentation, maybe the hint of raspberry in the taste?
After watching dogs in the dog park, I've definitely decided not all of them like old shit. Every morning the Great Dane from next door bounds up to my dog, while he's a crouching and squeezing, and licks the shit right out of his ass. She likes it that fresh. It's got to be a drug.
The funny thing is, the Dane's owner, is a CEO of a company. My plan is if I ever get laid off from my day job, I'm going to work for the CEO. I mean, wouldn't you love to have a boss that if you get pissed off at, you could just say, "Hey your dog can lick the shit out of my dogs ass anytime," and your boss couldn't say shit.
I'm not quite sure how my mom's put up with my dad's dog habit for 52 years. Dad thinks he can't live without having a dog in the house. The meantime between a dog dying and my dad getting a new one is about three days. He always gets pure bred gun dogs, Weimaraners, German Shorthair Pointers, Spaniels. They all have a few things in common, they like to eat dead animals, the like to eat garbage and the like to play with, and eat, each other's shit. I mean, when I was a kid in Idaho, the dogs couldn't wait for the winter. Why? Shitsicles! They run on the backyard, grab a frozen shit, and come running back in mouthing it like a Cuban cigar.
What I don't get is, what's their fascination with other dog's shit. I mean they won't eat their own. But they'll go to the dog park and seek t shit out. Like it's a drug habit they can't break. I'm sure when my German Shorthair (yes, I have a shit eating dog too) runs up to other dogs and smells their ass, he's really asking: "Hey you know where I can get some good shit?"
The other dog turns around, smells his ass, and says, "Well your shit's good."
"Yeah, but I'm looking for something with a little aged flavor. You know a little crust, fermentation, maybe the hint of raspberry in the taste?
After watching dogs in the dog park, I've definitely decided not all of them like old shit. Every morning the Great Dane from next door bounds up to my dog, while he's a crouching and squeezing, and licks the shit right out of his ass. She likes it that fresh. It's got to be a drug.
The funny thing is, the Dane's owner, is a CEO of a company. My plan is if I ever get laid off from my day job, I'm going to work for the CEO. I mean, wouldn't you love to have a boss that if you get pissed off at, you could just say, "Hey your dog can lick the shit out of my dogs ass anytime," and your boss couldn't say shit.
posted by Stan at 2:12 PM
1 Comments:
Hello.
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http://chickensoupfortheterroristsoul.blogspot.com/2011/11/chicken-soup-with-coach-joe-paterno-and.html
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