A little will.

I was coming home from a memorial service the other day. My friend Eric, who accompanied me, asked “If you died how would we know?”

I was a little puzzled by this question.

He went on. “I mean does your mother know who all your friends are, and who to call? Would I have to wait six months to find out?”

I was proceeding down 580 more worried about keeping from dying at that particular moment. One never knows how to answer questions like that. Implicitly, I think he was insinuating I should be married so my significant other could notify him. That or I should maintain a little “In case I die, notify the following” black book.

I told him I hadn’t really thought about it much. I would be dead, so I’m not sure how much I would care.

This led to conversation about my will. I don’t really have one. So here is my minor attempt at a few items I have in my possession.

To Eric Runge and his wife Galen: I leave my 1986 magnum bottle of Silver Oak Cabernet. (Providing I haven’t drunk it.)

To Bob Goodman and his wife Linda: I leave my 1994 magnum bottle of Vanderheyden Late Harvest Cabernet. (Providing I haven’t drunk it.)

To George Metcalf and his wife Erin: I leave my vertical selection case of Silver Oak. (Providing…. I haven’t drunk it.)

To Dan Paul’s wife Rochelle: I leave the remainder of my late harvest cab selection. She loves it so. (Providing…. I haven’t drunk it.)


To Ian Clunies-Ross and his lovely wife Mary Kay I leave: the rest of the wine. (Providing…. I haven’t drunk it.)
Have a big party with everyone and finish it off. I leave you $20,000 dollars from my estate (providing I haven't spent it) to hire Red Meat and a suitable venue for this activity.

My bedbugs I leave to Ace the dog that brought them to me.

The rest of my assets I leave to keep the probate courts busy.