Urban [explicatve phrase] Ore
On New Years day this year, I was sanding away at some molding up on my deck, when I heard what sounded like a cat fight below.
I looked over the railing to the corner of the street and saw a local descendent of the original miner 49ers was arguing with a small Asian woman. She (the Asian woman) had a stick balanced across her shoulders with 30 gallon trash bags tied to either end. Jamal (the miner) was dressed in baggy gray sweat pants and a white thermal t-shirt next to a grocery cart loaded with similar trash bags, many drooping off the side of the cart. All loaded to the hilt with bottles and cans.
Now, I knew the miners name was Jamal, because between the explicative phrases he was addressing the woman with, he continuously declared that “My name is Jamal, I am [explicative phrase] homeless, and I was born in this [explicative phrase] country, in this [explicative phrase] state, and so was my [explicative phrase] Daddy, we’ve been here since California was [explicative phrase] founded you [explicative phrase].”
So I assumed from that, his family, homeless or not, had been here since 1849.He was mining urban ore. So there you go.
(A small note, the explicative phrases varied with each utterance of the previous Jamal sentence. But the full base of possibilities were uttered over the next few minutes as I listened in. So, use any of your favorite [explicative phrases] as substitutes as they seem appropriate. Also, my parents seem to have bookmarked this Blog and my minister friend [explicative phrase] reads it too. So I have to be careful what I [explicative phrase] say now. –No more [explicative phrase] jokes about assassinating [explicative phrase] hoofed animals for sport or calling the President a piece of [explicative phrase]. Well, until at least next hunting season or Presidential Address. Plus most of the [explicative phrase] in this blog is only loosely based on [explicative phrase] reality.)
--A little background on this scene. Berkeley is one of those cities in the Bay Area that elected to force everyone to recycle part of their trash. –And I do mean [explicative phrase] elected. We actually had a [explicative phrase] ballot initiative on it and [explicative phrase] passed it. So basically we pay an extra [explicative phrase] $20.00 a month for the privilege of separating out our [explicative phrase] paper, glass and aluminum to into separate [explicative phrase] bins for recycling. Never mind the fact that the [explicative phrase] State of California charges a [explicative phrase] deposit on most of the glass and aluminum containers we are then forced to pay [explicative phrase] again to recycle. I throw away about five or six beverage bottles a week, and an additional ten to fifteen aluminum cans. So, I think I basically throw out a $1.50 and then pay $5.00 to have it picked up. This seems like a [explicative phrase] waste, but then again, I pay [explicative phrase] $2.00 a [explicative phrase] lot to take money out of the [explicative phrase] bank. That’s the problem with [explicative phrase] California, there are too many [explicative phrase] people with too much [explicative phrase] money. Berkeley is really [explicative phrase] bad. We think nothing of throwing away [explicative phrase] $50 - $60 a month and paying other [explicative phrase] people to [explicative phrase] help us throw it away. Why? [explicative phrase] So we can feel better about not driving to our bank and polluting air or doing away with real deposit bottles sometime in the 70’s when Berkeley was at her [explicative phrase] Zenith.
--Anyway, this little bit of Urban Ore that surfaces on the streets each week is too tempting. Miners prospect our neighborhood every Sunday starting around noon. By rattling around the plastic bins like they were panning for gold they glean out the high value cans and bottles. Leaving behind tailings of soup cans etc. Mean time from me putting the bins out to them being emptied is about ten minutes. The trash man never gets any of the cans or bottles. He, like the miners that showed up in the gold fields in 1851, pretty much found everything was picked clean or had already been claimed.
--And that was Jamal’s point. Between the explicative phrases he was imparting to the [explicative phrase] Asian woman that he had stuck a claim on the hillside on which they were standing. –And that, he had been mining this area for years, and she was a [explicative phrase] [explicative phrase] [explicative phrase] immigrant who didn’t have any [explicative phrase] right to his precious [explicative phrase] metal. –And he was going to [explicative phrase] her [explicative phrase] [explicative phrase], if she didn’t get off his [explicative phrase] claim.
The woman only pointed out that anyone had the right to the ore.
Jamal followed up with some explicative phrases and threw some bottles on the ground. (He looked a bit like a gibbon throwing [explicative phrase] in the zoo.
And this is where Jamal made is first error: the claim. Argue [explicative phrasely] as you want, it’s pretty hard to stake claim on what basically is me and my neighbors property. We take exception to that. The cans are ours, and arguably are in the process of being transferred to the City of Berkeley as their property. I know this because the city of Berkeley regularly circulates pamphlets to me explaining how I can avoid recycling theft during the transfer process. (I kid you [explicative phrase] not.)
Jamal had no [explicative phrase] claim!
Certainly he had no better claim than the Asian woman he was attempting to persuade otherwise. A few of my neighbors tried to inform him of the futility of his argument. He didn’t accept it, and used [explicative phrases] in their direction. He may have kicked a few of his [explicative phrase] bottles in their direction also.
Feeling they needed impartial arbitration with Jamal, to resolve the claim issues, a couple of the neighbors referred the matter the local Berkeley Constabulary. They were only too glad, on a slow hang over recovering day, to show up with five or six binding arbitrators.
Jamal pled his case, and I went back to sanding. The general arbitration proceedings outside my house went on for 20-30 minutes and the Asian woman tired of them and walked up the street. Occasionally I’d stop the sander, and listen in to Jamal’s oral arguments. They didn’t go well.
At least I assumed that, as Jamal eventually ended up in handcuffs in the back of one of arbitrator’s vehicles. The arbitrators, having solved Jamal's [explicative phrase] homeless issue then stood on the street talking to the neighbors and making small New Years talk.
Jamal was [explicative phrased].
He was even more [explicative phrased] when another local miner showed up and surveyed his loaded shopping cart full of urban ore. The new miner asked the arbitrators if they wanted someone to clean up the mess.
The arbitrators said they would appreciate it if someone would.
The new miner, cleaned up the bottles on the street, hitched up Jamal’s cart to his, and slowly towed it down the street to another recycling bin he was thinking of panning, while Jamal [explicative phrased].
I guess Jamal didn't like the concept of [explicative phrase] rent the rest of us non-homeless rich [explicative phrase] people pay. (Welcome to the [explicative phrase] world Jamal.)
Eventually the arbitrators left with Jamal and I went back to my sanding.
I’m not sure how I feel about these events I told you about today.
I’m not sure how I feel about [explicative phrase] forced recycling, or [explicative phrase] deposit bottles, or even who owns [explicative phrase] what once I [explicative phrase] place it on the [explicative phrase] street to be essentially [explicative phrase] expensive trash.
I’m not sure how I should feel about paying to feel better about polluting.
But,
at least I get to watch the occasional live [explicative phrase] HBO like drama for my [explicative phrase] $20 I throw away each month.
I looked over the railing to the corner of the street and saw a local descendent of the original miner 49ers was arguing with a small Asian woman. She (the Asian woman) had a stick balanced across her shoulders with 30 gallon trash bags tied to either end. Jamal (the miner) was dressed in baggy gray sweat pants and a white thermal t-shirt next to a grocery cart loaded with similar trash bags, many drooping off the side of the cart. All loaded to the hilt with bottles and cans.
Now, I knew the miners name was Jamal, because between the explicative phrases he was addressing the woman with, he continuously declared that “My name is Jamal, I am [explicative phrase] homeless, and I was born in this [explicative phrase] country, in this [explicative phrase] state, and so was my [explicative phrase] Daddy, we’ve been here since California was [explicative phrase] founded you [explicative phrase].”
So I assumed from that, his family, homeless or not, had been here since 1849.He was mining urban ore. So there you go.
(A small note, the explicative phrases varied with each utterance of the previous Jamal sentence. But the full base of possibilities were uttered over the next few minutes as I listened in. So, use any of your favorite [explicative phrases] as substitutes as they seem appropriate. Also, my parents seem to have bookmarked this Blog and my minister friend [explicative phrase] reads it too. So I have to be careful what I [explicative phrase] say now. –No more [explicative phrase] jokes about assassinating [explicative phrase] hoofed animals for sport or calling the President a piece of [explicative phrase]. Well, until at least next hunting season or Presidential Address. Plus most of the [explicative phrase] in this blog is only loosely based on [explicative phrase] reality.)
--A little background on this scene. Berkeley is one of those cities in the Bay Area that elected to force everyone to recycle part of their trash. –And I do mean [explicative phrase] elected. We actually had a [explicative phrase] ballot initiative on it and [explicative phrase] passed it. So basically we pay an extra [explicative phrase] $20.00 a month for the privilege of separating out our [explicative phrase] paper, glass and aluminum to into separate [explicative phrase] bins for recycling. Never mind the fact that the [explicative phrase] State of California charges a [explicative phrase] deposit on most of the glass and aluminum containers we are then forced to pay [explicative phrase] again to recycle. I throw away about five or six beverage bottles a week, and an additional ten to fifteen aluminum cans. So, I think I basically throw out a $1.50 and then pay $5.00 to have it picked up. This seems like a [explicative phrase] waste, but then again, I pay [explicative phrase] $2.00 a [explicative phrase] lot to take money out of the [explicative phrase] bank. That’s the problem with [explicative phrase] California, there are too many [explicative phrase] people with too much [explicative phrase] money. Berkeley is really [explicative phrase] bad. We think nothing of throwing away [explicative phrase] $50 - $60 a month and paying other [explicative phrase] people to [explicative phrase] help us throw it away. Why? [explicative phrase] So we can feel better about not driving to our bank and polluting air or doing away with real deposit bottles sometime in the 70’s when Berkeley was at her [explicative phrase] Zenith.
--Anyway, this little bit of Urban Ore that surfaces on the streets each week is too tempting. Miners prospect our neighborhood every Sunday starting around noon. By rattling around the plastic bins like they were panning for gold they glean out the high value cans and bottles. Leaving behind tailings of soup cans etc. Mean time from me putting the bins out to them being emptied is about ten minutes. The trash man never gets any of the cans or bottles. He, like the miners that showed up in the gold fields in 1851, pretty much found everything was picked clean or had already been claimed.
--And that was Jamal’s point. Between the explicative phrases he was imparting to the [explicative phrase] Asian woman that he had stuck a claim on the hillside on which they were standing. –And that, he had been mining this area for years, and she was a [explicative phrase] [explicative phrase] [explicative phrase] immigrant who didn’t have any [explicative phrase] right to his precious [explicative phrase] metal. –And he was going to [explicative phrase] her [explicative phrase] [explicative phrase], if she didn’t get off his [explicative phrase] claim.
The woman only pointed out that anyone had the right to the ore.
Jamal followed up with some explicative phrases and threw some bottles on the ground. (He looked a bit like a gibbon throwing [explicative phrase] in the zoo.
And this is where Jamal made is first error: the claim. Argue [explicative phrasely] as you want, it’s pretty hard to stake claim on what basically is me and my neighbors property. We take exception to that. The cans are ours, and arguably are in the process of being transferred to the City of Berkeley as their property. I know this because the city of Berkeley regularly circulates pamphlets to me explaining how I can avoid recycling theft during the transfer process. (I kid you [explicative phrase] not.)
Jamal had no [explicative phrase] claim!
Certainly he had no better claim than the Asian woman he was attempting to persuade otherwise. A few of my neighbors tried to inform him of the futility of his argument. He didn’t accept it, and used [explicative phrases] in their direction. He may have kicked a few of his [explicative phrase] bottles in their direction also.
Feeling they needed impartial arbitration with Jamal, to resolve the claim issues, a couple of the neighbors referred the matter the local Berkeley Constabulary. They were only too glad, on a slow hang over recovering day, to show up with five or six binding arbitrators.
Jamal pled his case, and I went back to sanding. The general arbitration proceedings outside my house went on for 20-30 minutes and the Asian woman tired of them and walked up the street. Occasionally I’d stop the sander, and listen in to Jamal’s oral arguments. They didn’t go well.
At least I assumed that, as Jamal eventually ended up in handcuffs in the back of one of arbitrator’s vehicles. The arbitrators, having solved Jamal's [explicative phrase] homeless issue then stood on the street talking to the neighbors and making small New Years talk.
Jamal was [explicative phrased].
He was even more [explicative phrased] when another local miner showed up and surveyed his loaded shopping cart full of urban ore. The new miner asked the arbitrators if they wanted someone to clean up the mess.
The arbitrators said they would appreciate it if someone would.
The new miner, cleaned up the bottles on the street, hitched up Jamal’s cart to his, and slowly towed it down the street to another recycling bin he was thinking of panning, while Jamal [explicative phrased].
I guess Jamal didn't like the concept of [explicative phrase] rent the rest of us non-homeless rich [explicative phrase] people pay. (Welcome to the [explicative phrase] world Jamal.)
Eventually the arbitrators left with Jamal and I went back to my sanding.
I’m not sure how I feel about these events I told you about today.
I’m not sure how I feel about [explicative phrase] forced recycling, or [explicative phrase] deposit bottles, or even who owns [explicative phrase] what once I [explicative phrase] place it on the [explicative phrase] street to be essentially [explicative phrase] expensive trash.
I’m not sure how I should feel about paying to feel better about polluting.
But,
at least I get to watch the occasional live [explicative phrase] HBO like drama for my [explicative phrase] $20 I throw away each month.
posted by Stan at 10:35 PM
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